The World Sinks Except Japan

The World Sinks Except Japan

(日本以外全部沈没)

The Story: 
Suddenly, countries start sinking into the sea. One by one the world's landmasses vanish until all that remains is Japan. Flooded with foreigners, the Japanese people must rise above and face the Gaijin threat head on.

The Reason:

This title is legendary around the internet, it was on my must-watch bucket list.
I was so excited when I found it.

The Stars:

 Worldwide monument destruction

It wouldn't be a disaster movie if the Statue of Liberty didn't get destroyed.

A bunch of dicks in a bar

Seriously, screw these guys.

Outrageously horrendous stereotypes

They managed to shoehorn every conceivable stereotype and caricature they could think of. Whatever the term for yellow-face act from the Japanese perspective is, it applies here.

The Review:
I have literally been working to repress all memory of watching this movie, so here are some highlights.

Life is pretty good when you're not!Tom Cruise. You get to wander around being a dick to people with zero comeuppance. What could possibly go wrong?  

Globaaaaaaal devaaaaaasstaaatioooon!!!!

 

Countries vanish in a flash of red light. Because of reasons. 

The excess population left over from the brutal destruction of the world flock to Japan to form lovely little camps. Shiftless layabouts. Basic human courtesy in time of disaster? What nonsense.

 The only way they can get by is to sell useless crap to the humble Japanese workman.

... Or through debasing themselves in every way, shape, and form.

... Or worse.

It's time to do something about the Gaijin menace. Announcing the formation of the Gaijin Attack Team.

At which point all the foreign devils are rounded up and sent off to be executed. The humane solution.

And then this dick shows up.

Overall:
This movie was so bad it put me off watching Japanese movies for over a year.

NEVER WATCH IT.

This is without a doubt the most horrendously xenophobic movie I've ever seen. It's supposedly a comedy but every single joke boil down to 'look how stupid foreigners are'. Even the knowledge that this is intended to be a parody of The Sinking of Japan doesn't do anything to redeem it.

This movie was just plain bad. Once you get past the hilarious racism, it is supremely dull to boot. I ended up watching the latter half of the movie on fastforward just to get through it.

It basically killed my enthusiasm for Japanese cinema. Now, excuse me while I go back to repressing this experience.

Stats:

Watched: Raw. 1.5x speed.

Understood: Honestly stopped caring by halfway through and have spent each day since trying to forget it

Does it matter: Not a damn bit

Would watch again: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! In short, no.

Recommend: NEVER WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rating: Terrible, What did I just watch? Why, Japan?

Amazon Link

Bonus:

The thing I find most surprising about this movie, aside from the fact it ever got made at all, is that all the gaijin speak in fluent and well structured English. They clearly knew what kind of movie they were making and still did it anyway. Guess they really needed that paycheck.

Summer Time Machine Blues

Summer Time Machine Blues

(サマー タイム マシン ブルース)

The Story:
To the members of the Science Fiction club, summer means hanging around in the clubhouse with the air con blasting, but when a string of bizarre events result in the destruction of the air con remote, they're forced to face the full heat of summer. The next day, after a run-in with a strange kid, the group stumble upon a strange machine inside their clubhouse. A strange machine that looks oddly like a time machine. After fooling around with the device, one of the members finds himself back in the day before. Now, with a fully-functional time machine at their disposal, the SF has one goal in mind: to steal the air con remote from their past selves before it is broken.

 

 

The Reason:

I'd heard very good things about this movie long before I had the chance to see it. It's a must-see.

 

The Stars:

The SF club

5 idiotic friends with no interest in Science Fiction who use the club as an excuse to hang out kill time.

The Review:

The film starts with the members of the SF club playing a game of baseball while the girls from the Photography club take their pictures.

Strange things start happening around them, but it's too hot to care. The group would rather just fool about in the clubhouse instead. That is until the bizarre chain of events results in the air con remote getting destroyed.

Faced with a summer of no air conditioning, the SF club is left with no choice but to put up with the heat if they can't find some way to fix the air con.

Suddenly, a strange kid appears in their clubhouse riding a strange machine. The kid disappears before the group can find out what's happening, leaving only the machine behind. Upon closer look the machine appears to be a time machine, but since such a thing couldn't possibly be real the group starts fooling around with it

When an accidental activation results in one of the members getting sent back to the day before and appearing in the background of a photo, the group realise they have possession of a real time machine. Not knowing what to do with it, the SF club resolves to fix their air con problem by traveling back to the day before and stealing the remote before it is destroyed.

While several members of the club are off having wacky adventures in the past, the remaining members of the club find out that if the past is changed even the slightest could result a paradox. They have to go back and stop themselves from seeing themselves and causing the destruction of the entire space time continuum.

Overall:
This is one of the best done time travel films I have ever seen. Close attention to detail is paid throughout, and the result is a hilarious comedy about 5 idiots trying to avoid the destruction of the universe. Several of the scenes at the beginning of the film make no sense until the real cause is revealed later on. An excellent movie that is a must-watch.

Stats:

Watched: Raw

Understood: Yes. Had to pay close attention though.

Does it matter: Yes.

Would watch again: Yes. Awesome movie. Already watched at least 4 times so far.

Recommend: Excellent comedy that is a must-see for fans of time travel

Rating: Must see

Amazon Link

Bonus:
Pay very close attention to the opening scene for several 'blink-and-you'll-miss-it' shots slipped into the background.