Hikiko-san VS Kuchisake Onna

Hikiko VS the Slit-mouth Woman.

(ひきこさん VS 口裂け女)

 

   

 

The Story:

Ever since a traumatic experience left her friends in a coma, Kaori has been visiting the hospital every day in the hopes that they will some day regain consciousness. One day ten years later, the pair suddenly wake up screaming about a mysterious Hikiko that is after them; a ghost that only exists in their memories and will stop at nothing to get them back. Kaori does her best to help her friends recover and move past the trauma, but something is not right in the hospital. Rumours circulate of a strange woman glimpsed in the old buildings, a woman wearing a surgical mask and asking only "Atashi kirei?" <am I pretty?>. Before long, Kaori and her friends find themselves caught in the crossfire between two monsters of Japanese legend. It's Hikiko-san VS the Kuchisake Onna.

 

The Reason: 

I got this movie because I was so impressed by the first Kuchisake that I keep underestimating how terrible the rest of the series is. This film has little if anything to do with that series anyway. I thought that being a versus movie, they might treat the character with respect and not keep trying to reinvent the wheel with a new origin story.

The Stars:

Kuchisake Onna

"Atashi kirei?"

<Am I pretty?>

The slit-mouth woman. You walk down a dark alley and see a woman wearing a surgical mask, bleakly she asks "Atashi kirei?". If you answer, she takes off the mask to reveal a tore and twisted face. She then kills you.

Based on a popular urban legend. In my opinion the first Kuchisake Onna movie is one of the best horrors I've ever seen (the rest of the series, however, is not). I got this purely to see if they'd get her right, and out of all the characters in this film, she is by far the most interesting. She actually does things and has moments of being actually scary.

Hikiko-san

"Mou ikkai" "Mada dayo"

<one more time> <not quite yet>

A ghost that only exists when you remember her. She haunts children and if she catches you she'll beat you to death on the pavement.

To be honest, I'd never heard of Hikiko before this movie. Her description makes her sound like an actual credible threat. A kind of Freddy Krueger to the Onna's Jason. A ghost that there is no escaping from because whenever you think about her she can find you. However, her portrayal here has her come off as more of a molester spirit that is more annoying than frightening.


The Review:

For the first half of the movie NOTHING HAPPENS, and the mood comes across as more of a crappy J-Pop music video than a horror movie. The inappropriately upbeat music plays as the girls slowly recover and it becomes easy to forget that this is meant to be a monster movie. It becomes so discordant, that a well placed jump scare would have been enough to give me a heart attack. Unfortunately, when the horror does start it's fumbled so badly that it loses all impact.

There is exactly one actor with a shred of talent in this film. Her overacting is especially noticeable in a scene where she's talking to some hospital staff and the doctor has no idea what he's meant to be doing so he keeps staring off into the ceiling. She's clearly trying to take the film seriously despite the fact no one else is.

Hikiko starts tormenting the girls, but overdoes it to the point it looks like she's more interested in groping them than killing them. Hikiko forcing one of her victims to stab herself with a pencil loses all impact when the effect is so badly done that you're not sure what's happening. And then the flashbacks start.

As soon as the trauma of ten years past begins it becomes clear that I've made a mistake regarding this movie. It's not a horror, it's a comedy! Hikiko grabs a kid and starts slamming him against the pavement, and it's hilarious. The scene was meant to be scary but I couldn't stop laughing.

Soon after, Hikiko chases her victim into the abandoned part of the hospital, where like any sensible horror heroine, the girl that's running from a ghost stops to ask the creepy woman locked in a cage for help. Genius. Hikiko appears and the girl presses herself against the cage, whereupon the Onna kill-steals and Hikiko fades away with a bored look on her face.

The Onna accidently gets set free and proceeds to actually do something, making it look like Hikiko is the reason the movie lacks horror. For a moment, it looks like the Onna actually knows how to get things done.

 Epic Troll Face.

Things then pile together to lead to probably the shortest Vs match on record. Like a pro-boxer vs a wet paper bag. The whole fight is a farce, but it is an incredible funny farce. Every time one of the ghost comes running up to attack the victims, they stop a short distance away as if to say "Hi".

The ending has got to be one of the best I've ever seen though. The main character pulls an incredible stupid stunt in the hopes of vanquishing the evil monster, and for a few seconds it looks like it worked, until they look up to find the monster giving a face that screams "Are you an idiot?".

Overall:

As a horror this movie is an offense, but as a comedy it's a right barrel of laughs. I'd recommend it purely to see how funny it really is. I don't think you'd even need subs to enjoy it (probably would make more sense too). 

Stats:

Watched: RAW

Understood: Yes

Does it matter: No

Would watch again: Probably not

Recommend: Yes

Rating: Bad but Good

Amazon Link 

Bonus:
Hikiko drinking game!
Take a drink every time Hikiko fails at being scary.